Gospel Truth Part 3: Don't Be Fooled
How to Protect Yourself from Christian Deception
Preface
I am writing a short series on a Christian commitment to honesty and transparency. If you haven’t already, before reading this essay, I encourage you to check out part 1.
Part 2 gives biblical perspectives on the dark reality of deception and manipulation in the Bible. It is helpful to read those thoughts before continuing below.
Don’t Be Fooled
I wish I didn’t have to write this series; I wish all believers (or those who call themselves believers) could be fully trusted. But Scripture itself warns about liars and manipulators who use their positions of power in the church to trick and deceive (2 Tim 3:1-9). So, caution and wisdom are in order. In this post, we will offer tools and counsel for protecting yourself from Christian deception. But first, a review of the “deception playbook”:
Distortion: The deceiver distorts reality and bends the truth, sometimes only slightly, which makes the victim question their understanding of the situation.
Discrediting: The deceiver calls into question given or assumed authorities that the victim trusts
Tribalism: The deceiver engages in dangerously hostile tribal thinking, “us v. them.”
Exclusivity: The deceiver subtly finds out what the victim wants and finds ways to convince them that they can give it to them.
Ally-Grooming: The deceiver tries to convince the victim that they are a trustworthy friend or ally and that their interests are aligned.
Five Tips for Protecting Yourself from Christian Deception
Don’t extend absolute trust to any person or institution. Now, I didn’t say, “don’t trust,” I said, “don’t extend absolute trust.” Most people are trustworthy and honest, but the pulpit and spotlight are places where leaders can succumb to temptation towards lying for the sake of self-protection and manipulation of others for self-gain. No one is beyond temptation and the people of God need to be wise and cautious. Trust your leaders, but also test and verify what they say and do.
Ask for evidence. When leaders make sweeping claims or when they make “us vs. them” claims, ask for factual evidence. And when leaders don’t give evidence, be very concerned.
Take your time. Deceivers often want victims to make quick decisions, life-or-death decisions—that is because we let our guard down when we are in a hurry. Take your time, do your homework, ask why the decision has to be a rush.
Seek out other perspectives. Deceivers want to control the flow of information or limit outside information altogether. But if knowledge is power, do yourself a favor and gain knowledge for yourself—study up, read what other people are saying on the same issue. Expand your perspective, broaden your horizons. Think for yourself, and know that learning from multiple perspectives is healthy and good.
Maintain connections to multiple and diverse Christian communities. Now, you can’t attend or be a member of multiple churches. It is wise to have one church as your primary church family, but I recommend also maintaining some connections to other Christian groups (could be a parachurch ministries, a podcast community, another church you visit occasionally, etc.). Having those outside connections are important for several reasons: (1) if your primary church leader begins to manipulate your perspective, experience in that other community can cause you to question those changes or that limited perspective; (2) also: if you have to leave your primary church community due to spiritual abuse or leadership failure, God forbid, you have an immediate safe harbor; (3) and: you have built-in diversity of perspective.
Christians are called to be innocent and shrewd (Matt 10:16). You should be able to trust your leaders and lower your guard at church, but it does no one any good to be naive. No leader is beyond the need for occasional criticism, fact-checking, and accountability. And all leaders should want believers to think for themselves and compare what leaders say with Scripture.
In the next post, we will address how leaders can protect themselves from becoming manipulators and deceivers. These are difficult conversations, but absolutely necessary, due to the heavy responsibility that lies in their hands. Stay tuned for more.
Good advice thanks